and please stop the rain.

Whodathunkit a year ago that we would be crying stop the rain? Certainly not me and half the ranchers in these here parts, but I’m hearing stories that even the infamous Lake Bridgeport who’s notorious for being low, is about to overflow her britches, er, breeches, er, beaches. I’ve had enough, thanks.

I look in your eyes and that dazzling smile doesn’t reach your amber eyes. Young and not so carefree, has life bogged you down? What happened to that happy little girl? I hadn’t noticed until now and I’m sorry. How do I ask? How do we talk about it? Do you even know?

Your life didn’t turn out the way you wanted, I can see that. But it was your choices, right? Headstrong and stubborn you insisted on doing it the hard way. And the easy way. Will you give your girls free reign or are you going to help them make choices different than yours? That’s what parents do. Cajole, plead, insist…and watch that child walk away and make their own path. Or will you be so wrapped up in your own life that you leave them without direction? That too is a choice. One that should be made carefully. But you’re not thinking about them right now.

I worry about your eyes. I worry about what I see there.

I woke up this morning, late by most standards, after my third night of insomnia. I looked at the clock through dry, scratchy eyes and wondered why I was still in bed at 7:30 a.m. Oh, the time change. It’s really 6:30. Okay, so not really, but you know what I mean.

I then bustled out of bed to find some coffee. Okay, again, not so much bustled as limped for the first 20 feet while my age old muscles uncrimped from lack of use through the night.

Did I mention that getting old is a royal pain? Really. Think about that while I go find the ibuprophen. Read the rest of this entry »

The Bad News:

I spoke with the doctor today and had two pages of questions to ask. First and foremost, Devon has had basically what we would call a stroke. He must have had it at birth or soon thereafter. He is not likely to have any more. He has what is referred to as White Matter Lesions. We will have more tests later to determine any future stroke problems.

The damage is irreversible and cannot be fixed. He will continue to improve in his learning and language. However, there may come a time when he will ‘cap out’ and not improve anymore. This is a big maybe. Only God, time, therapy, and Devon will determine that.

He does have difficulty processing incoming messages and comprehension. This does affect his cognitive functions. It does affect his motor skills.

The Good News:

There is lots of therapy available. Once we get the neuro test taken, we’ll know exactly which kinds to focus the most on.
He is young and learning and improving everyday. The more we work with him the better he will be.
He is bright, very smart and wants to do good.
He’s in a stable home, with folks who will champion his cause.
He has a great team of doctors working to help him in any way.
We are to continue pushing him to improve and encourage him to learn. We cannot give up, nor can we allow him to.
He can have a normal adult life and contribute to society, we just have to work hard to help him get there.

The Work To Do:

He needs a neuropsychology test. This is highly important to find out exactly where the disconnects are in all his language, motor, physical and sensory skills.

He needs occupational therapy.

He needs social training/ADL’s.

He needs speech therapy.

He may need to change schools.

I have to learn ‘the system’ so I know what the schools should offer, and what to expect from them, and how to insist I get what Devon needs. I need to learn about 504 services.

Bottom Line:

He’s not sick. He is not a baby. He is not disabled. He has minor brain damage from a stroke (something infarction). The doctor specifically stated that I/we should not cut him slack and permit him to ‘get by’. He’s to be pushed, encouraged, challenged to do better and to learn just like every other kid. Even if it’s small, as long as he’s learning — he’s improving and getting better. But, he needs patience. He won’t learn like you or I. I just have to be creative…what doesn’t work needs to be evaluated and changed so it makes sense to him.

Talking baby talk or ‘down’ to him is a huge no-no. It makes him regress and should be avoided at all costs. He is not ’simple-minded’ so don’t talk to him that way. He understands everything you say but in some situations may not speak because he’s shy and doesn’t know how to communicate clearly. Social therapy will help him with that.

The doctor did not think home schooling would be a good idea. He needs the social interaction with other kids.

Conclusion:

The neuropsych test may not be covered by his insurance. If not, it’s going to cost somewhere between $1600 and $3000. I will keep you all posted and if it won’t then we’ll have a cake sale or something.

I’m sure there’s more, but I was there an hour or more and we covered a lot of ground. This is the crux of it. When I got home Devon declared that he likes having the flu. When I asked why, he said he liked being pampered like the king. Ahhhhh….I love that kid!

Sometimes I sit around and think that I need to clean house better, do more work, drive a better car, accomplish something in my life that I have yet to try. Blah, blah, blah, me, me, me.

And then, out of the blue, the doctor calls and tells me my 8 year old nephew may never talk right. That he has a ’scar’ on his brain that will cause seizures for perhaps the rest of his life; that may prevent him from ever speaking a clear sentence.

And then, I’m reminded. It’s not my life, this project, or that deadline that’s important.

There’s a young man, a boy, a *baby*, that has yet to experience life, that has had more hardships than you or I already in his short life, that will experience ridicule, prejudice, and untold amount of difficulty for the rest of his life. An innocent. My heart just aches for the man he will be and the humanity he will encounter along the way.

If you’re the praying sort, drop a line for Devon, if you will. He’s a good boy. God knows him well.

The latest devotional by John Fischer couldn’t have been more spot on.

One big happy (dysfunctional) family
by John Fischer

The family that thrives is the one that can absorb conflict and failure andstill exhibit love and acceptance at the end of the day. The family that fears its conflict and buries its unseemliness under a cloak of good impressions is the one that creates highly dysfunctional people who lug around suitcases of unresolved baggage and never get down to the real thing. Sometimes maintaining a “happy� family can be the worst thing you can do. It can drive a lot of powerful emotions underground, where they will eventually surface in unhealthy ways.

How much of being a Christian and going to church is all about appearances? Read the rest of this entry »

I like to photograph people and animals. I try diligently to photograph clouds and trees, but for some reason I just don’t give them justice. I’ve got an old crappy digital camera that I use until I can afford one better. The only good thing about it is that it takes lenses. The downside: I don’t own any and wouldn’t know how to use them if I did.

My grandbabies came down to visit last week and over the weekend, and I got some really good candids. It totally sucks that they live so far away! Maybe one of these days when I’m rich and famous I’ll be able to see them more often. Until then, pictures will have to do. Read the rest of this entry »

Now who would have thought that in 2006 some idiot would have to stay up all night to watch files load via FTP. I’m raising my hand to be the chosen idiot.

I’m on a satellite connection and I think I’ve exceeded my bandwidth. This thing is about as slow as molasses pouring out of a deep freeze in a New Hampshire winter. I think I could dial in to the Bedrock Can and String telecom and get it through faster! Read the rest of this entry »