Why is it that everyone seems to think you’re an ogre if you don’t donate to the ‘Pink’ cancer? I have nothing against the Susan G. Komen Foundation for capitalizing on a one gender, socially mobilizing cancer. They have a very specific, wide spread public audience that ‘everyone’ wants to help because “sniff-sniff….we must help find a cure for the sake of all women”. Whatever.

Sorry. Not me. I do not feel the sniffles coming. Oh, trust me, it’s not because I don’t think breast cancer awareness, or a cure for that matter, isn’t important. It is. It’s not that I cannot sympathize with the women who have breast cancer. I do. It’s not that with over a thousand cysts in my own breasts that I don’t worry and think about breast cancer…sometimes. I do.

My problem with this pink campaign is that it’s zealots look at you with blank stares and sometimes downright animosity when I say…no thanks. I won’t donate today because….my mom has pancreatic cancer . It’s color is purple , there is no cure and no one survives it. Ever. We too are looking for a miracle. Would you like to donate to our cause? No? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

For me, I’m purple all the way baby. I’d dip myself in grapes if I thought it would cure my mom. So don’t give me some stupid stare. Those in the pink camp…are surviving. A lot of them. PanCans are lucky to survive one year, and the truly blessed might live a whole 5. My mom is only 62. She’ll be gone long before her time. And that just sucks to the core.

We buried my baby today beneath the bird feeder she loved to haunt. My grief is relieved only by the thought that she waited just for me; so we could be together and I could breathe her last breath. We got back late from camping, and she was hiding in Devon’s closet. So close to the end she was cold. I moved her into the room so I could hold her, and she yelled in pain or in acknowledgement that I was there, I don’t know which. She looked directly at me, and I felt the 16 years of love and bonding flow through us both. She was ready to move on, this time without me, into God’s waiting arms.

She was more dog than cat. Most cats are aloof and independent, but Taz had the look of adoration in her eyes that only dogs usually have. We bonded at her birth as I claimed her for my own. It was a cool spring evening, April 10, 1992. I’m close to all the babies but me and Taz struck a bond that I’ve never had with another animal. I loved her like a daughter for nearly 16 years. She missed her birthday by 10 days.

Tigger, Tut and Momma never skipped a beat. They knew far longer than I did that Taz was dieing. I guess I knew I just didn’t want to accept it. I wished we had not gone camping that weekend, so I could have spent a few more moments with her. But I know she knows I loved her with a passion and furiousity that only a real mother could have.

She will be missed. Her gentle eyes, and perfect soul, her graceful and giving heart. I will love her to my own dieing day.

Woo-hoo! If you’re over forty then you know the excitement this brings. Heck, if you’re under 20, you probably are into it too. What comes around, definitely goes around. Bell bottoms and hip huggers did. Let’s just hope the baggy pants thing, and fat girls wearing tight clothes, never comes back!

So many people in my family suffer from the bondage of rejection. My mother is ate up with it. She transfered this feeling of failure and disapproval to us kids every day. We all suffer from this debilitating affliction. My hope, and prayer, is that we can truly get released from it. Us kids by forgiving her. She, by forgiving her parents.

Rejection

Although they don’t face bars and chains, they have fallen victim to beliefs and behaviors that keep them in captivity. They may go about their life thinking that everything is all right, but deep down inside of them something is really wrong. The bondage that is being discussed here is that of self-rejection, which can have absolutely devastating effects on your life. When you internalize the cruel words and rejection of certain people and believe their lies about you, it can wound you deeply.You begin to think that everyone views you the way that they do—even God. Yet, it is bondage and you must break free of it.

Romans 15:7 - Accept one another just like God has accepted us.

Rejection is one of the most painful experiences in life.

There is a difference between accepting a person, and accepting his conduct.

Self Rejection means before i can believe in myself someone important has to accept me. What matters is how God accepts me. Self rejection is a trap. It grinds at your self.

It is especially painful for children who have been rejected by their parents. Children grow up and transfer that emotion (and baggage) upon their spouse. Which then strains the relationship and solidifies the rejection because their behavior makes people want to run away from them.

Rejection Syndrome

1. A critical spirit - just sits and waits for someone to tap that emotion so they can lash out and attack.
2. Has difficulty loving others fully - and believing others love you.
3. Feel inferior - they don’t feel worth. Looking for attention. Either puts up airs or becomes promiscuous.
4. Perfectionism - if you can’t do it perfectly, they don’t do it at all. Becomes a procrastinator. Because they’re terrified you will criticize them for doing it wrong.
5. Anger and bitterness - They feel like no one likes them or is out to get them.
6. Easily hurt and offended - always suspecting you’re out to get them. Anything that makes that person feel ‘less than’. Even if you say something nice, they feel like you’re buttering them up or you’re out to get something from them. They suspect you are being deceitful or nosy.
7. A loner because they drive people away - you may want to love that person, but they just keep pushing you away. They walk into a room, and point out (mentally) the folks they think like them or not, and think everyone is thinking some thought about them. Worry over what people are thinking about them.
8. Rejection is a very powerful tool of manipulation. There are men and women who take advantage of the needy/rejected.

Causes of Rejection

1. Parents - growing up in a home where parents reject you. (For instance you hear your mother say “I never wanted you. I wished I had had an abortion”. “You’re stupid”. “Why can’t you be more like Susie” “I hope you never grow up to be like your sister”. “Get out” Silence when the child says I love you. Beating your kid and then saying “I love you”.
2. Divorce - I don’t want you anymore.

Sense of belonging, worth, confidence/competence

When people experience rejection, they may take all kinds of wrong steps to feel better about themselves. Instead of looking to God for their worth, they focus on the people who disapprove of them and look to ungodly ways to earn others’ endorsements. As Christians, it’s easy for us to look at their sinfulness and be critical of them. However, we shouldn’t reject the person. Rather, we must show love to the person while showing our disapproval of their sinful attitude or conduct.When we tell someone,“You’re bad.You’re evil.You’re no good,”we fire darts at the person’s heart and damage them. However, when we confront them with the truth out of love, we can impact their life for Christ. How do we help them out of the sinful lifestyle that was caused by self rejections? We build them up with the three aspects of self-worth:

Col 1: 19-22

The foundation for feeling accepted is the atoning death of Jesus Christ.

Rom 8: 15-17 (belonging) You belong to God. We belong because the Father loved us. The One who’s opinion really matters has accepted us—and no one can change that.

Romans 5: 5-8 (worth) God loved us so much that He gave the life of His only Son to save us. That is love and in its ultimate expression. How much are we worth to God? Everything.

Romans 8:11 (confidence) You are competent because the Holy Spirit indwells in you. We have the Spirit of the Living God dwelling in us. He prepares us, equips us, and helps us in every task God calls us to do.

The truth is (not feelings) because we belong to God, who pours out his love for and on us, and because we have the holy spirt, then why do we feel rejected? God says we are his! It does not matter who rejects you. God does not.

If you want to overcome that sense of rejection:

• God loves you unconditionally
• God has forgiven you completely
• God has accepted you unconditionally.
• You are a whole person in Christ.

Rejection is painful and destructive. However, you cannot focus on the feelings it causes because they will lead you away from the truth of God’s love for you.

It’s not mind over matter - it’s truth over error. Go to bed believing in God’s love and acceptance. Soon you will begin to feel that loving acceptance.

You are so valuable god died for you. He didn’t send a bunch of angels. He came himself.
You have the power of the holy spirit. He believed in you so much, he sent the Holy Spirit to help you.

Reprogram your thinking to the way God thinks about you.

My mom has PC, my sister-in-law had two aneurysm’s and lived to tell about it, and what is really on my mind? How about:

Teaching a third grader how to write a story is much like jabbing yourself in the eye, only much more painful.

More about the cancer and aneurysm’s later. There’s just so much to tell!

…and I ain’t talking political crap. It’s cancer. No more speculating, no more wondering, no more what if’s. It makes me mad. Fighting mad.

My momma taught me to never give up and that gal ain’t got no quit in her. She can beat this thing. Lord willing.

——–

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will up hold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

We need it. Give us all you got.

What the hell is that, and how does it happen? Mom calls out of the blue to say she might have pancreatic cancer. She’s freaking, Lisa’s hysterical, I’m in denial. Sounds about right for the three women of this family. I pray it’s nothing but some serious heartburn or something. Until today, I didn’t even know where the pancreas was. I sure didn’t know anything about it but you can bet I will before the day is out and it’ll be the main topic of my prayers for awhile yet.

She goes in for a biopsy soon. Good Lord. What is going on? What else can I say? Want to know more? Me too: http://www.pancreas.org

I got a design in from a friend and fellow ‘developer’. The design is great. It’s really cool. It would make a beautiful album cover or poster. But with all the graphics, textures, and backgrounds, it’s totally impracticable for web design. Everything would have to be an image, and most importantly, it leaves no room for growth or out of the box content.

Meaning, you’re limited to a few sentences. If you get more wordy than that with your news, descriptions, or song track titles it’ll break the layout.

How do I say this all very nicely when someone is pretty set on the look?