Valentines Day around here means one thing: It’s all about The Hunka. He gets his annual meal of Chicken in Port Wine Sauce and Asparagus-filled Crepes. Good stuff.

I goofed around most of the morning, and then decided I probably needed to get busy. That hair and face ain’t gonna do itself. Getting purdy is always a requirement for wooing your sweetheart, right? It took way more time than I normally take (which is about 15 minutes), but the results weren’t half bad. Too many wrinkles, and probably one too many rolls in the middle, but hey, I’m 43 and I deserve at least a little pudge. At least the hair looked good. No matter what, I can always depend on the hair.

I was so taking that picture in the mirror. In the bathroom. Then photoshopped the background so you wouldn’t know.

But forget about me. The star of this night is the meal. Totally. Don’t like asparagus? I dare you to eat these crepes and tell me you don’t like asparagus. My 11 year old who hates everything green devoured 4 of them.

The recipes – Where it all began

I found these little recipe books on a sale rack in some dollar store back in 1989 or so. They were a dollar so I picked up a couple. One of them was a book on French Cooking. It looked French. It has the image of the Eiffel Tower and had crepes on the cover.

And it was a dollar.

I’ve used it a few times in the last few years. It didn’t hold up well.

But it was a dollar.

And had this recipe.

Doesn’t this look fantastic?

Mine won’t look like this. All the port wine I’ve found is purple. Deep purple. And I don’t mean the rock group. But the taste? It’s divine. Or you could use sherry. Dry or Tawny. Or both port and sherry. Really, really divine!

The first cookbook I ever bought was in 1982. I was only 16, but was already nesting like a future newlywed. I might have had a boyfriend at the time that spurred that spark, but mostly I’ve wanted to be a wife since the dawn of time, and cooking is part and par for the course. It’s the southern raising I’m sure.

This Better Homes and Garden cookbook is nice for beginners. Lots of step by step basic recipes. Right after I bought this book, I nearly burned the house down. I was boiling eggs.

This is my go to book for crepes. I don’t think I’ve used any other recipe out of this book since I’ve been an adult but it’s my first cookbook, and I’m not getting rid of it. I’m sure there will be a great-granddaughter in my future that will think it’s old and ancient and cool.

Mmmm. Crepes. They’re like pancakes, only thinner. And you stuff them. And roll them.

Now I’m hungry. Really hungry.

To get this party started, gather up all your ingredients. Here are a few of my favorites. Or some I found on sale. In this house, it’s all about the sale.

These are the basics for both recipes. You’ll also need a few other things. Full recipe at the bottom of the page.

First heat some oil in a large fry pan. You can use oil or butter. I find butter burns too fast for high temp so I used vegetable oil. About 1/4 cup. Heat it to medium high. On an electric range, I used 8.

While the oil is heating put some flour, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and paprika in a plastic bag.

Mix it up. We’re going to dredge the chicken in it. I used chicken thighs because they were on sale, and I had some in the freezer. You can use breasts or even a whole cut up chicken. I took the skin off. I’m not a skin fan unless it’s seriously fried. And then, I still pull it off. This meal is by far not healthy so if you like skin, leave it on.

Drop half the chicken in to your bag and shake it up. Shake it up like K.C. and the Sunshine Band. Shake, shake, shake! Shake, shake, shake! Shake your chicken….

I once had a pudgy teacher named Mrs. Saudi. Oh we had a song for her. Shake your body, like Mrs. Saudi.

My mother was so ashamed.

I thought of it myself.

I was the lead singer.

I’m still serving penance for that.

Drop the chicken into your hot oil, then coat the other half.

If your oil is the right temperature you should be getting a good sizzle right out of the bag. Keep it hot, adjust the heat as you need to so it doesn’t drop too much when you put the first half in the pan.

If you lose the sizzle, that flour is going to be mushy. You don’t want mushy.

Once you get all the pieces in the pan, put a lid on it. You’ll cook it the longest on this side with the lid on. It will cook the chicken through.

Let it cook a good long time. About 8 minutes up to 15. At 8 minutes, lift the lid and lift one piece. Is it stuck? If so, it’s not done. Put the lid back on and come back in about 5 more. If it looks golden brown and crispy, you’re ready to turn them all.

Now let them cook on this side until you get the same results. Do not put on the lid. If you put the lid on now that crispy crust will steam. Get soft. And if there’s something you don’t want on Valentines Day it’s soft chicken. Know what I’m saying?

While the chicken is cooking, put the asparagus in another fry pan. You can use fresh, but I love to use the canned variety because of the juice.

I laid out two cans, but actually got out a third can after I started putting the crepes together. We shared dinner with my step-dad. I wanted to have plenty for everyone and leftovers for the Hunka.

Turn the heat up to mid-range and let these simmer in their own juice while you’re prepping the rest of the meal.

If you have a good knife, get it. I have two. One is the world’s most expensive dented tip knife as seen in a previous post. The other one is this beauty my mother gave me the Christmas before she died. I love this knife. For obvious reasons.

Slice some mushrooms and one onion. I used two containers of mushrooms. One for the sauteed mushrooms and onion for the crepes and another container for the chicken.

Dice half the onion. Do you know the easy way to do that? Cut the onion in half, lop the top off, and peel the outer skin off. Cut the onion along the ribs, then turn the knife and cut the other way. Instant dice.

With the other half of the onion, do a simple slice. This gives two different textures to the onion. The dice will brown quicker, giving a caramelized flavor that’s oh so good with mushrooms.

Do you know what goes good with onion and mushrooms?

Yeah. Butter.

Is it wrong for me to want to stick my face in that and lap it up like the dog?

It’s butter. It’s good. Second only to bacon.

Mmm. Bacon. It’s meat candy. Sigh.

Toss the mushrooms and onion into the melting butter and let it saute. Stir it around once in awhile so it all gets toasty. When you first put the mushrooms in, they will soak up the butter. Put an additional 2 or 3 tablespoons of olive oil in there.

While the mushrooms and onions are caramelizing, and the asparagus is simmering it’s time to start in on the crepes and take a look at the chicken.

The simplest recipe on the planet, except for maybe pancakes. Crepes are pancake’s more sophisticated sister.

Start with two eggs.

One cup of milk. Yes, I know what the recipe says.

Let me introduce to you the worlds oldest one cup Pyrex measuring cup.

Not really. But the hard water build up will sure fool you won’t it? I hate hard water. Welcome to the ranch.

Add the oil.

Then whisk like crazy.

Get a cup of flour. Yes, I do know what the recipe says.

Add the flour, a pinch of salt and some sugar to the liquid.

And whisk until smooth.

Now, with the extra half cup of milk and the extra half cup of flour you didn’t use, you’ll either add one or the other to the batter to make it just right. Depending on the flour, your batter may be too thick. If it’s too thick, you’ll wind up with pancakes. If it’s too thin, they’ll crack and bust and you won’t get them out of the pan. Leave it out, unless or until you need it.

It’s a dance.

I bet when you started reading this you didn’t realize you were getting an encyclopedia. Oh how this girl can talk.

She can go on and on and on. Especially if I stop briefly to talk about myself in the third person.

Let’s move on.

You’ll need a small fry pan. We have several this size and my husband swears by the non-stick version. I’ve never had a problem with my stainless, so I picked it.

Heat it first. Dry.

While it’s heating up check the chicken and the asparagus. The asparagus is probably dry at this point, and getting toasty. If it looks like this, wonderful! Stir it up, and then put a little water in it. Or, if you’re a pig like us, go ahead and decide to put that third can in there. The toastiness will add so much flavor.

The chicken probably looks pretty good too.

Pull it out of the frying pan and pour off all the grease. You won’t need it. There will be browned bits in the bottom of the pan, and this is a great thing.

The heat should still be high at this point, and when we pour the liquid in, that hot pan wet liquid will release all those bits and help us make a gravy. Put in all the remaining mushrooms then pour in the wine. Mmmm. Thick sweet port.

Stir the pan well and get all the bits off the bottom. Then pour in the cream. I didn’t have cream. Not a drop. So I used sour cream and a little milk. Hey, you do what you got to do when you’re in the middle of your annual dinner.

Mix it all up.

And then put all that beautiful chicken back in the pan.

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I guess I’ll finish this one of these days if I can find all the pictures after the hard drive crash. :-\