Got this in my morning devotional and it’s been weighing on me: Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29. And this: Proverbs 18:13 (NLT) says, What a shame, what folly, to give advice before listening to the facts!

The Bible is always so accurate, and we can learn so much sometimes by keeping our mouths shut. Sometimes silence is the best form of communication. Hard for me though…I’m kin to my mother. She always had an opinion too. Sometimes though, she just didn’t announce it to everyone. She thought it though. Damn I miss her. I look at that fishing photo on her blog, and I see those eyes, and I think this ordeal has been some kind of joke. I barely remember the sick person of just a few weeks ago. I remember my mother at her strongest, and when I do that’s when I hurt the most.

I’ve been living in denial mostly these past few weeks. Just ignoring my hurt, and moving on to life’s dulldrums and keeping busy. But if I’m drawn to her blog, I see her, the alive, strong ‘her’ and I ache to my very core. I call Bill every night like I used to mom. The poor guy probably wishes I’d let up. But I miss her.