It's About Me

So many people in my family suffer from the bondage of rejection. My mother is ate up with it. She transfered this feeling of failure and disapproval to us kids every day. We all suffer from this debilitating affliction. My hope, and prayer, is that we can truly get released from it. Us kids by forgiving her. She, by forgiving her parents.

Rejection

Although they don’t face bars and chains, they have fallen victim to beliefs and behaviors that keep them in captivity. They may go about their life thinking that everything is all right, but deep down inside of them something is really wrong. The bondage that is being discussed here is that of self-rejection, which can have absolutely devastating effects on your life. When you internalize the cruel words and rejection of certain people and believe their lies about you, it can wound you deeply.You begin to think that everyone views you the way that they do—even God. Yet, it is bondage and you must break free of it.

Romans 15:7 – Accept one another just like God has accepted us.

Rejection is one of the most painful experiences in life.

There is a difference between accepting a person, and accepting his conduct.

Self Rejection means before i can believe in myself someone important has to accept me. What matters is how God accepts me. Self rejection is a trap. It grinds at your self.

It is especially painful for children who have been rejected by their parents. Children grow up and transfer that emotion (and baggage) upon their spouse. Which then strains the relationship and solidifies the rejection because their behavior makes people want to run away from them.

Rejection Syndrome

1. A critical spirit – just sits and waits for someone to tap that emotion so they can lash out and attack.
2. Has difficulty loving others fully – and believing others love you.
3. Feel inferior – they don’t feel worth. Looking for attention. Either puts up airs or becomes promiscuous.
4. Perfectionism – if you can’t do it perfectly, they don’t do it at all. Becomes a procrastinator. Because they’re terrified you will criticize them for doing it wrong.
5. Anger and bitterness – They feel like no one likes them or is out to get them.
6. Easily hurt and offended – always suspecting you’re out to get them. Anything that makes that person feel ‘less than’. Even if you say something nice, they feel like you’re buttering them up or you’re out to get something from them. They suspect you are being deceitful or nosy.
7. A loner because they drive people away – you may want to love that person, but they just keep pushing you away. They walk into a room, and point out (mentally) the folks they think like them or not, and think everyone is thinking some thought about them. Worry over what people are thinking about them.
8. Rejection is a very powerful tool of manipulation. There are men and women who take advantage of the needy/rejected.

Causes of Rejection

1. Parents – growing up in a home where parents reject you. (For instance you hear your mother say “I never wanted you. I wished I had had an abortion”. “You’re stupid”. “Why can’t you be more like Susie” “I hope you never grow up to be like your sister”. “Get out” Silence when the child says I love you. Beating your kid and then saying “I love you”.
2. Divorce – I don’t want you anymore.

Sense of belonging, worth, confidence/competence

When people experience rejection, they may take all kinds of wrong steps to feel better about themselves. Instead of looking to God for their worth, they focus on the people who disapprove of them and look to ungodly ways to earn others’ endorsements. As Christians, it’s easy for us to look at their sinfulness and be critical of them. However, we shouldn’t reject the person. Rather, we must show love to the person while showing our disapproval of their sinful attitude or conduct.When we tell someone,“You’re bad.You’re evil.You’re no good,”we fire darts at the person’s heart and damage them. However, when we confront them with the truth out of love, we can impact their life for Christ. How do we help them out of the sinful lifestyle that was caused by self rejections? We build them up with the three aspects of self-worth:

Col 1: 19-22

The foundation for feeling accepted is the atoning death of Jesus Christ.

Rom 8: 15-17 (belonging) You belong to God. We belong because the Father loved us. The One who’s opinion really matters has accepted us—and no one can change that.

Romans 5: 5-8 (worth) God loved us so much that He gave the life of His only Son to save us. That is love and in its ultimate expression. How much are we worth to God? Everything.

Romans 8:11 (confidence) You are competent because the Holy Spirit indwells in you. We have the Spirit of the Living God dwelling in us. He prepares us, equips us, and helps us in every task God calls us to do.

The truth is (not feelings) because we belong to God, who pours out his love for and on us, and because we have the holy spirt, then why do we feel rejected? God says we are his! It does not matter who rejects you. God does not.

If you want to overcome that sense of rejection:

• God loves you unconditionally
• God has forgiven you completely
• God has accepted you unconditionally.
• You are a whole person in Christ.

Rejection is painful and destructive. However, you cannot focus on the feelings it causes because they will lead you away from the truth of God’s love for you.

It’s not mind over matter – it’s truth over error. Go to bed believing in God’s love and acceptance. Soon you will begin to feel that loving acceptance.

You are so valuable god died for you. He didn’t send a bunch of angels. He came himself.
You have the power of the holy spirit. He believed in you so much, he sent the Holy Spirit to help you.

Reprogram your thinking to the way God thinks about you.

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