Bingo – Dysfunctional Families Rule!
October 28th, 2006
The latest devotional by John Fischer couldn’t have been more spot on.
One big happy (dysfunctional) family
by John Fischer
The family that thrives is the one that can absorb conflict and failure andstill exhibit love and acceptance at the end of the day. The family that fears its conflict and buries its unseemliness under a cloak of good impressions is the one that creates highly dysfunctional people who lug around suitcases of unresolved baggage and never get down to the real thing. Sometimes maintaining a “happy� family can be the worst thing you can do. It can drive a lot of powerful emotions underground, where they will eventually surface in unhealthy ways.
How much of being a Christian and going to church is all about appearances? Too much, at least in my experience. Too many of us act as if it were our responsibility to make God look good by showing ourselves as shiny, happy people. In the end, we make God look bad, because we are dishonest in the worst sort of way; we are dishonest with ourselves. Do this long enough and you lose track of who you really are. I find a lot of Christians get so far removed from who they are that they need professional counseling to help them face the truth about themselves. Most of this comes from getting good at living an impression rather than living the truth. We are too good for our own good.
Why is it that PKs and MKs (preacher’s kids and missionary’s kids) always seem to have a reputation of being the most troubled kids in the church? Because pastors and missionaries have the most pressure on their families to maintain the best possible reputation. After all, isn’t everyone looking to them to model the happy, successful Christian family? And so a disconnect develops between who we are and who we appear to be, and the wider that gulf, the more unhealthy the person.
How do we fix this? Give up pretext and love each other for the messes that we are. Isn’t that the way God loves us? He sent his son to die for us while we were still in our sin, and that death is like a billboard for why we continually need him.
“Oh, foolish Galatians! What magician has cast an evil spell on you? For you used to see the meaning of Jesus Christ’s death as clearly as though I had shown you a signboard with a picture of Christ dying on the cross.â€? (Galatians 3:1 NLT)
“Have you lost your senses?� Paul wrote to the Galatians. “After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort?� (Galatians 3:3 NLT)
Our human effort always tries to cover everything up. Our life in the spirit brings it all out into the open because Jesus died so we wouldn’t have to hide. Let’s love each other for who we are, instead of trying so hard to be loved for who we are not.
Posted in Dear God